No fancy exotic locales this week on The Bachelor! This week is the week where Ben meets the girls families. I feel like he should meet less than 4 families. Like maybe only two. Plus, Ben is “supposed” to ask the girls dads if he can marry them. Which is really messed up because I’m sure he knows he doesnt want to marry three of them.
His first date is with Lindzi, and there are horses involved! Surprise. She says horses have been in her life since “before she was born.” How’d that work? Ben seems kinda like he’s really bored, and is barely trying to hide that fact. They have a chat about relationships and Lindzi “opens up” and becomes “vulnerable.” Then Ben makes his lips really big and kisses her. Its gross.
Yikes
Back at the ranch (no really, Lindzi lives on a ranch), they have a carriage race and then drink wine out of mason jars attached to stems. Interesting choice. The theme of the day is basically that Lindzi was really heartbroken last year, and now she is so happy with Ben and wants to marry him and have what her parents have. I dont know if Ben is shy or just a dunce (yes I do) but he really doesnt DO much. In his “dad chat” he says he’s not ready to propose. Ok, cool!
To you NOT marrying Lindzi!
I really dont think Lindzi is winning this, so I hope she realizes quickly that she didnt really like Ben as much as she thought she did.
The next date is Kaci. Kaci B! I guess we can drop the B now that there is only one Kaci left. I like her, she seems sweet but too into Ben. Then again, I guess they always are. I wonder if this was Kaci’s or the producers idea to have her baton twirling with a marching band. Kinda awkward when it was over and one person claps.
This better be worth it
She tells Ben about her grandparents love story, and then tells him that her daddy doesnt drink. Haha. It freaks Ben out a lot, since he’s a winemaker. Kaci just laughs, so it’s awesome. I hope they put Ben “on the hot seat” (as they say on tv). No chardonay haze to protect you this time, Ben! Let’s watch what happens.
FInd the glass of wine
Well I guess Ben feels comfortable enough to be the only one drinking. Cool! Kaci looks kinda nervous through dinner, then tells her sister she’s totally certain Ben is her husband. Well, future husband. Ben has really awkward chats with each of the parents.
We are not amused
Kaci’s dad basically says to dump Kaci soon if she’s not the one he’s going to propose to. Kaci’s mom brings up the concerns she has, such as them moving in together. He responds by saying “Im glad you have have concerns. It shows me that you care.” She’s their daughter Ben!! Did you really have doubts that they cared about her? Terrible response.
Im not impressed
The theme of this date was Kaci’s parents telling her not to rush into anything, not to move in with Ben, and that they need lots more time to date and get to know each other. It was interesting to see how Kaci’s energy level dipped when she was at home. She seemed very different. So, it wasnt a super successful meeting, probably because the parents are not only traditional and conservative, but also sensible and rightly skeptical about television dating shows! So, probably not the dad Ben was hoping for to replace his own. (Which he mentions is kinda part of getting married for him.)
The third date today is Nikki. Oh, shocking that they are saving Courtney for last. Nikki is from Texas, and Ben claims to love it there. Ben hopes she shows him some Texas pride. Yeah. Have you ever met anyone from Texas who isnt totally obsessed with it? I wouldnt worry Ben. So she takes him shopping for boots and a hat! The weird thing is that in one scene Nikki is wearing stripes.
Exhibit A
But then the very next scene, sequins. But then at home she’s wearing stripes again! What is going on?
No Ben, she's not laughing *with* you
Nikki says she wouldnt marry Ben if she didnt get her father’s approval. I wish for once that would really happen. The parents would be like “nope! no way! not happening!” and then the daughter would listen! Ah well. Nikki is in love with Ben, blah blah blah. Ben does actually seem slightly more animated than usual on this date. So the theme of this date was Nikki’s divorce but that she’s moved on and wants to be with Ben forever.
What are they not showing us about Ben!? I guess it’s probably the dates, the locations, the fanciness (of the dates! not of Ben, obviously), the tv cameras, and most importanly the WINE, but even when I watch this show drunk I am not convinced that Ben is smart, interesting, funny, cool, or anything other than a lump. But anyways.
Courtney time! She starts out by being the only one to talk about being glad to be away from the girls. She pretends to be a different person than who she really is and says she feels bad for the way she treated the other girls. EH, whatever.
We go straight to Courtney’s house to meet her family right away. They are in Scottsdale, AZ. And now that we’ve met Courtney’s mom, it’s a lot clearer where Courtney learned her behaviors! Her mom is kinda funny/mean/weird at first, saying she seriously doubts that Courtney is in love. Nice. Did anyone else see the article in US Weekly or somewhere? It was an interview with C’s mom that said Ben wasnt good looking enough for her daughter. Haha. Don’t worry, Courtney’s inner beauty matches Ben’s outer.
Hello, Scottsdale!
Now we also know where Courtney gets her facial twitching! Not that her mom’s face can really move, per say.
After the meet and greet Courtney takes Ben to a park where she claims to have had her first modeling gig. Also a subtle reminder in case anyones forgotten: She’s a model! So the story that Courtney feeds us is that she is really scared of being hurt so she has trouble opening up. Much like a person who is afraid of heights would go sky diving, she is going to… have a pretend (?) wedding to help her get over her fears. I think she really just wanted to get Ben to say how he felt about her. He says thank you for believing in him, and I am just shocked he didnt say “Belize-ing” in him, since they were just in Belize and all.
Spoiler alert?
In Courtney’s vows she rips off a Sex in the City line that Carrie says to Alexander Petrovsky while they are in Paris because all she (Courtney) ever does is quote other things, which leads me to believe she is not super original (duh). She also quotes a song at the end of her vows. She is really lame. Anyway, the whole point of that was to tell Ben she loves him. Well, he really can’t pick anyone else at this point, can he? I don’t think so. How do you explain away a fake marriage?
Uhg. The next part of the show is Ben recapping the dates we JUST saw. They show us all the exact same footage (they couldnt have shown us something new?) except this time it’s got white foggy stuff on it, so that means its a memory.
Misty watercolor meeeeeemories....
So that part is boring, and of course we learn nothing. Ben looks at photos of the ladies for about 2 minutes, and now it’s time for the rose ceremony!
The Line Up
Well, my original prediction from the second episode was 75% correct. Just switch out Emily for Nikki. Anyway, Ben calls Courtney, then Lindzi, then…. Nikki?! I must say I didnt see that coming. I think that maybe Ben listened to Kaci’s dad, and since he knew he wasnt going to pick her, got rid of her sooner, rather than later. The two socially normal girls hug her goodbye while Courtney scrunches her lips and is unsure of what to do in the face of female friendship.
Then for the first time this season, Ben walks someone to the limo!
Except all he does is say I’m sorry and gives no explanation or comfort or anything. I feel like Kaci’s dress is a metaphor though– the top half is white silk, like a wedding gown, but the bottom half is dark and sullied, much like her dreams of a future with Ben! Well done, wardrobe people.
In the limo she cries and is mad, which I like to see. Isnt that really always part of a breakup? You are sad, but also angry at the other person for not respecting what a great person you are. Like, who the hell wouldnt want to date me?!? ME?!!! And then you spiral back around to sadness.
#$%* !
Hopefully Kaci will still be angry by the time The Women Tell All episode rolls around (and seeing Ben skinny dipping should add some fuel to that fire) and she will give it to him good. That’d be great!
Next weekend these lucky little brats are going to Switzerland. Why?? Probably because they realized Ben does NOT look good sweating it out in a tank top. So maybe he’ll look better on a mountain, 95% covered in heavy clothing. Also next week, someone returns in heels to confuse Ben. But who could it be?? Emily?? Wanting to tell Ben even more info about Courtney? His sister perhaps, with rumors from home? Shawntel giving it one last shot?? I guess we have to wait a week to find out.
Until then!
