This week we are headed to Montana, for some reason. Sean is outdoorsy, and wants his wife to be too, so he says they will be roughing it in Montana. They are staying at a very swanky lodge, however, so I dont think the girls will have too much trouble handling it.
Lindsay gets the first date card. Sean picks her up at the lodge and takes her around back to their transoportation
Not just a helicopter, a black helicopter! Ok. They fly around and look out the window. Then they have a picnic and sit making out on a blanket. Then they have wine and sit making out on a large chair. It is quite the boring date! Seriously, they showed like 4 minutes of it. Sean does surprise her by taking her to downtown Whitefish for a concert, some lady singing all the names of the states, and then a song about cigarettes. They make out on a box.
The group date is another dumb competition where the girls have to do things like canoe, carry hay like 10 feet, saw a log, and milk a goat. And then drink it! I mean, it’s just milk, but it was probably really warm, which is gross.
So the red team wins, which means they get to hang out with Sean for the rest of the night. Bye bye blue team. Until! Sean decides he wants to hang out with them too. Red team=sad. Blue team=happy. Sean explains that a lumberjack contest cant determine who he spends time with. Oh really?? Well here’s a thought– dont make them do a lumberjack contest then! Now the girl who drank goats milk is regretting it. She should get something since she chugged it in a really gross way. Maybe not the rose. But perhaps a Tums?
Meanwhile, in crazy town, Tierra is no doubt filling her notebook with incoherent ramblings. She is on the two on one date, which she said she was happy about. But now she claims to be upset. She puts on a shirt from the blue team when they were competing, which is odd. Is she trying to act like she was on the team too, and thats why she can go interrupt their date?
She tells Sean the two on one date was a slap in the face. He rewards her with kisses. Come on Sean. Dont be such a lame-o.
So, Sean spends his usual amount of time sitting with various girls on various benches and couches. While Sean is outside with Catherine, Daniella goes to find him to interrupt and “steal him away.” But she chickens out because she sees Catherine and Sean having fun and, as she reports it, “sitting on each others laps.” WOW! How do you accomplish that? And then in describing it to Des she said “uhg, can you get off her lap” like Sean was sitting on top of Catherine, which would have been hilarious to see. Maybe she isnt good at pronouns.
Daniella cries to Sean in what is becoming a time honored way of getting the rose. Sean, being a lot dumber than I originally hoped, gives her the rose. Whatever man.
The next date is the two on one which is sure to be annoying since it involves Tierra. The other girl is Jackie who I’m pretty sure Ive never seen before. Either way, there is absolutely no suspense over who is going home, since we’ve been seeing the previews for the next episode non stop, and they all involve Tierra.
I think Jackie knows she wont be staying, so her objective is simply to let Sean know that Tierra kind of sucks. And that’s what happens. The date is as awkward as you’d expect. There is no spark between Jackie and Sean. Jackie doesnt seem too upset, she is just worried that Tierra is still there. Understandable.
Wow, this episode was a real snooze fest! There are still 30 minutes left and we have just started the rose ceremony. Why do the producers think we want to see sooooo much of Tierra and her weird voice and inane comments? Yuck. Everything she says is nonsense, so I won’t bother reporting it. The other girls are all sick of her but dont seem to be able to clearly express why, which I think is why they dont say anything to Sean. Look, if you like Sean, then just trust him to eventually see that Tierra sucks. If he never figures that out, then he sucks too!
Sean claims to be questioning the whole process. But nothing exciting happens. Except we learn Sean’s one true turn off, as he gets rid of Robin.
Well, I guess we will meet again tomorrow night. For ice swimming, mascarra tears, and foil blankets. Now that sounds romantic! If the rest of this season is just the girls versus Tierra, I will be really annoyed. It’s boring! And I cant stand her voice. I guess we will see!