Welcome back! Well, we are getting close to the end of this rather boring season. The first part of tonight’s episode was just Sean telling us all the generic reasons why he likes each of the three women. I fast forwarded it. Instead, let’s start with the first date!
This week we are in Thailand and I am very jealous, once again. The first date is with Lindsay, and I really enjoy her and Sean’s matching sorbet color scheme.
They head to an outdoor market in Thailand called Si Kao market. I must admit that when I heard Sean say the name but didnt see it written out I was imagining that it was Sea Cow market, and I was like, cool, maybe we’ll see some manatees! Not so much, but we did see some colorful chickens, for some reason…
On the ride to the market Lindsay explains that she won’t eat bugs. Lindsay! Now Sean is definitely going to make you eat a bug, just to see if you’re adventurous enough to be his wife. Even though what you do while on tv trying to win what is ultimately a competition is not necessarily the same as what you’d do in every day life. Of course the markets in Houston most likely dont sell grasshoppers.
Lindsay does not bother trying to pretend the bug wasnt gross. Sean makes her eat two, which is just mean. Then they go to the beach and talk about how great they are together and Sean says some stuff that would make me believe I was going to win. They also feed monkeys and it was pretty cute.
At dinner we get a bunch of interviews with Lindsay saying she wants to tell Sean she loves him, but all through dinner she just can’t seem to do it and you can see a lot of times where she wanted to but didnt. Maybe its because she feels like she has to say it, rather than just letting it happen at a normal time. Well, dont worry guys, she eventually manages to spit it out, and Sean rewards her with a kiss. They talk a lot about the future. Hmmm….. Not much is said about the Fantasy Suite, but according to Sean’s People magazine interview, he is celibate till marriage, but not a virgin. I wonder if all the women are on board with this plan, and why they arent showing them talking about it at all on the show. Why not? Oh, is that too private?
Anyway, I guess we may never know. Unless we buy People, of course.
So the next date is with AshLee. Oh boy. I think it’s too early in the morning for me to listen to her yammering on and on and on about the love of her life. She never talks about anything but how much she loves Sean. It’s like she has Stockholm syndrome. It really is ridiculous how much she talks about Sean, even though we are watching a show about nothing other than that. She loves him more than anything. True love. Soul mate. No two people on Earth better suited than her and Sean. Icky.
Sean, however, seems not to be convinced yet, and wants to know that AshLee can, basically, let him be the leader in their relationship. He repeatedly tells her to just hold on to him when she requests a floaty thing to use in the cave they must swim to. I think Sean himself says it best when he tells us he “loves being AshLee’s protector.” But, it’s pretty cruel of Sean to keep her around this long if she isnt going to win. Her issues seem pretty deep, and I dont see her taking a break up very well. AT ALL.
Anyhow, they swim through a really dark cave and then we see them on a beach for about 30 seconds. I want to know, did they have to swim back out through the cave??
.The rest of the night is much like the beginning, except I am very distracted by AshLee’s necklace. I dont know what it says! It looks like it says gypset… but what the hell is that!?
Seriously, it really bugged me. Sean tells AshLee a lot of stuff about how he knew from the beginning that they’d have something special. He smiles a lot with her. I think Sean likes the fact that he is special because he helped her not be “broken” any more. He’s her knight in shining armor. I think they are both really into that dynamic, as much as it seems kinda gross to me. Sean seems a little different with her, and she is not hiding her feelings at all (infortunately for us), and I think Sean likes that too. She ends by telling him what kind of ring she wants.
My fave is Catherine, who is up next. I like her because she seems to have a normal, down to earth outlook on falling in love with someone on a tv show. I do think she likes Sean, but I dont think she truly wants to marry him. They chat on a boat, and then jump off of it. They also make out in the rain, which is fun. And, due to what I imagine is the producers not letting the contestants wear sunglasses, I realize that Sean reminds me of someone!
I actually just saw this episode of Full House (just channel surfing, I swear!), although in truth that episode has always stuck with me. Michelle was to wink because the sun is in her eye, one of the rare instances in 80s sitcoms where the actors are actually outside, not on a soundstage fake backyard. I guess that memory might be a bit odd, but I cant help what this old brain holds on to! Clearly this episode of The Bachelor is not holding my attention super well.
Anyway, Catherine is nervous because she thinks the Fantasy Suite will be intimate. Don’t worry Catherine, it won’t be. Catherine talks a lot about how she is finally herself around someone, and that she never thought someone so hot would like her. THat’s crazy! I think it will be good for her when she doesnt win this show, because I think she’ll have a lot more confidence. And that’s my armchair analysis for the day! Speaking of armchairs…
Sean goes to chat with the godfather about sending someone home, and that yes, in fact he has found “his wife” here. He talks about how he was shocked and blind sighted when Emily sent him home. Well, you just told three women you could picture marrying them, so I’m guessing they are going to feel the same.
We are then forced to watch these terrible video messages from the three women that tell us nothing other than what we already heard on the dates.
At the Rose Ceremony, I AM TRULY SHOCKED. Sean finally gets rid of AshLee, weeks too late for her own good. He really had me convinced she was the one, so I’m sure she was convinced as well. She’s pissed, and leaves without saying anything to make Sean feel better, which was good. He asks to explain himself and heres what he says: ” I thought it was you from the very beginning. We had a lot of intensity.”
She leaves and is mad. Well, hmm, maybe my favorite will win, thus proving Sean to be a little bit cooler than I thought he was, since they show us zero of his personality on the show. Time will tell! Unfortunately next week is the reunion, which is pointless because even though they keep saying its the “most dramatic season ever” it’s actually the least.
See ya in two weeks for the finale! I can’t wait to find out who that letter is from that makes Sean cry!