Here we are, on one of the last legs of this “incredible journey.” This week will take place in Switzerland, and I’ll just go ahead and let you know that I’m incredibly jealous.
The show starts with Ben’s Plane Ride o’ Reflection. As he rides in some type of fancy plane to Switzerland (or maybe that was just first class– I want it!) we are meant to think that he is spending this particular journey thinking about his choices and about the women, although Ben has not exactly proven himself to be a deep thinker, so I’m not convinced. We get little recaps of each one.

Hmmm.....ginger ale or coke?
He seems to struggle to find anything nice to say about Nikki. Essentially, she’s nice and would make him happy. Ok…. Lindzi he seems slightly more into, but still, the best he can come up with is that what he likes about her is that she makes him happy. No Ben, what do you like about her. Aw, forget it. He then talks about Courtney and claims she’s a bit nerdy. I take offense to that. Nerds are normally smart. Courtney is an idiot; therefor, I don’t think she qualifies as a nerd. I think the word Ben wants is “incredibly big weirdo and not in a good way.” He reminds us she’s a rebel who he went skinny dipping with and then this clip flashes on the screen.

Say whaaaaa?
Hmm, that’s weird. I don’t remember this naked make-out session. All in all, Ben believes this week, with the overnight dates, will give him the clarity he needs. Ew.
Ben’s first date this week is with Nikki. Guess what they do?? You’ll never ever guess.

Surprise!....?
But Ben does get like 1/8th of a point by kinda acknowledging the fact that all he ever does is ride in helicopters, so I’ll give that to him. They fly around for a long time, in fact it’s how they spend their day.

Taking our relationship to new heights (their words!)
I guess that view is decent. They sit on top of a mountain (or so Nikki claims) and talk about Nikki’s family and how she is in love with Ben. Ben has this throw-away line, saying her dad reminds him of his dad. Uh oh. I think Nikki takes this to mean that Ben wants to be parts of her family. I think she’s overreacting. Nikki talks a lot, and Ben does his usual job of nodding and giving inane replies. Like “uh huh” “yeah” and kissing her to shut her up. Doesnt he look so excited to be with her?

Definitely feel a spark
In a voiceover Ben claims that this day showed him a spark and a new side to Nikki (seemed exactly the same to me) and he hopes she will spend the night with him. Convenient!
Oh man, Nikki is sooo into Ben. She talks about their future all the time, and she looks really happy. Ratio of words Nikki says to words Ben says. Roughly 300:1. I just don’t think theres any way she is going to win, and I’m starting to feel really bad for her. I mean, if you were the Bachelor/ette wouldnt you feel kinda messed up about letting someone plan their life with you, knowing for sure it wasnt going to happen. Also about having them spend the night when you? Ben does ask her how she pictures herself “integrating into [his] life,” which excited Nikki, but my goodness, Ben. Selfish much!? How about “how would we integrate our lives together?” Jerk. Anyways, they are off to the fantasy suite, complete with hot tub and a fire and a million candles. Aaaaand scene.

Lingering shot of the bed...
Obviously, the second date we see is Lindzi’s. They start out with some extreme sports, or so they say. Repelling down a cliff! Well, when I think of repelling (and maybe I’m wrong) I feel like you actually interact with the cliff. Like, use it to jump out and down. No? Well, these two just sloowwwwly release a rope that is hanging next to a cliff, but it doesnt look like it ever actually touches the cliff. Kinda weird, and not that cool.

We went rope dangling!
Ben says he loves Lindzi and, also conveniently, today he says he saw a more affectionate side, leading to his justification for the overnight date!
They show their dinner and they each use the word vulnerable approximately 800 times. It’s super exciting. So, Lindzi was dumped last year, but she has bravely allowed herself to fall in love again. With Ben! And that’s really all the story we ever learn about Lindzi, other than that she likes horses, and for some reason Ben.

Ben and Lindzi's bed shot
Do you think they show the beds as a not-so-subtle sign that overnight dates mean sex? So creepy.
Courtney and Ben get to have a normal date of taking a train up to one of the little towns near Interlocken (which I also did while I was there, and it’s awesome), and then they get a picnic and go eat it next to some cows. By this point I think the producers have told Ben how badly they are going to portray Courtney, because she’s given them so much material to work with. So Ben has to now act like he is concerned about Courtney’s treatment of the other women. I’m not buying it though. When the women brought it up multiple times during the season, he did not care at all, and usually got mad at them for saying anything. When he brings it up Courtney tries to excuse it by saying it was a weird situation and that she tried to be nice (sure). Ben says it was messed up regardless. Hey, go Ben! But then he instantly backs down and says he doesnt want to talk about it. That’s the Ben I know.
In a talking head Courtney’s voice sounds like she’s crying, yet she never sheds a tear. Odd.

This is how I cry
On the next part of their date, Ben tells her that in order for this to work HE needs support. HE has a lot of women friends and basically wants to know if Courtney is going to be a bitch to them. She doesnt exactly say that she won’t, she says there’s more good than bad and that she has trust issues. But, Ben wants to go land skinny dipping with her so he chooses to hear this as an apology. Interesting how that works. I’ll never forget Oprah saying “people tell you who they are.” But then it’s up to you to decide whether or not to listen. Ben is not listening.
Instead, they go to their fantasy suite and get into a giant barrel that I really hope is filled with wine!

This is what life with Ben would be like on his winery.
The next segment is just so weird. So, Emily is the next Bachelorette. She is a single mom who gets lonely and she lives in an extremely nice house. She’s also really, really pretty in the most traditional way you can be pretty. She has giant teeth. She meets up with ex-Bachelorettes Ashley and Ali and they do a bunch of odd stuff like try on clothes, get their make up done, and then go on a date with each other to see Titanic in 3D. Wha?? Way to be current, show.

Is this an image you expected to see when you started this show?
Anyways, the segment tells us nothing really, other than that Emily wants to find a love like Rose and Jack’s. In a way it’s the perfect metaphor, since this show is essentially a sinking ship, and that’s where she’s headed to find love!
But, back to our current love story. Oh yeah, the mystery guest! It is Kaci (B…). She has returned for answers! She seems super nervous and shaky. Hate that feeling. Ben, if you’d have said more than a half-assed “sorry” last week, this wouldnt be happening. She says she was so shocked last week she didnt know what to say. Ben kind of looks like he thinks she has come to tell him something.

Yes, I will listen to you. Proceed my child.
No Ben. She wants you to talk for the first time ever. She wants answers about why he dumped her because she didnt see it coming. He basically tells her he wouldnt be able to get along with her family. She didnt do anything wrong, he just knew he wasnt going to propose. This doesnt seem to help much, shockingly. So she tells him if its not going to be her, dont pick Courtney either. Haha. Awesome. Ben gets pissed at her and shuffles her out the door. Kaci doesnt want to leave, but Ben clearly doesnt want her around anymore.

Kaci's fantasy suite didnt go quite as expected
Ben says he had made his decision (spoiler?? so, is he telling us he had already made his mind up about picking Courney? Sorry, other two girls he just slept with!) and then Kaci showed up and threw him for a loop. So he talks to Chris about his confusion, but not really. It’s pretty boring. He claims to be confused. I don’t really believe it, but we’ll see!
Rose Ceremony time!
It takes wayyyyy too long, but basically Ben gets rid of the one girl who actually seemed to truly like and/or love him. Way to go Ben! He walks her out, as the two remaining girls stare at them.

The Phaaaaaaantom of the opera is there....inside your mind
Learning a lesson in goodbyes from Kaci, and not wanting to risk a return encounter from Nikki, he explains that she’s great, her family is great, and he loved every minute of their time together. He just started to have doubts at the end. Yeah, but…. weren’t those doubts about Courtney?? Anyway, Nikki is upset, and now Ben is left with two women who SAY they love him, but for some reason I just don’t buy it from either one of them. So, I’m not super invested in the outcome.
Next week is the reunion/women tell all. Chris Harrison keeps referring to this season as the most controversial…. I dont think he actually knows what that means because I cant think of a controversy other than skinny dipping, which no one but me has talked about since it happened… I hope the reunion is good, and the ladies are mean to Ben. It never happens, but a girl can dream.
2 weeks until the final show, which Chris also promises will be controversial. What, will they be legalizing gay marriage on the show? I guess we’ll find out!
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